


Femslash February Ficlets

by sabinelagrande



Category: Archer (Cartoon), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies), Ultimate Spider-Man (Cartoon)
Genre: All the Fine Ladies, Everyone Is Poly Because Avengers, F/F, Femslash February, Ficlet Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 00:11:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of ficlets for Femslash February. Various fandoms, various pairings, and good times had by all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Type - Natasha/Pepper

**Author's Note:**

> Always looking for more prompts! Visit my [tumblr ask box](http://stickthisbig.tumblr.com/ask) or comment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [theleaveswant](http://ao3.org/users/theleaveswant): _Pepper and Natasha hand fetish?_

Pepper's hands are nimble, small; they aren't like Natasha's, gun-calloused and rough. They dance across her keyboard at incredible speed, something Natasha will never match. She doesn't know if she minds being outdone, not if she can watch as Pepper moves, study how she does it, learn her. She's good at that, an excellent mimic, but maybe she'd rather be bad; maybe if she's bad enough, Pepper will teach her some new tricks. She seems like the type, the consummate nurturer, soft hands and soft heart, something Natasha will never be, even with a thousand lifetimes of instruction.

She wants those hands on her body. By now, it's just a matter of asking.


	2. Careful What You Wish For, Because You Might Get Tea Parties - Maria and Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For [watersword](http://watersword.tumblr.com): _Maria Hill and Natasha Romanoff being bros!_

Natasha has this thing about tea.

She drinks it like a fiend, even as everyone else sucks down coffee like it's the very last that will ever be brewed. When Natasha's around, there better damn be some lapsang souchong and some hot water, or so help you god. Bags and tea balls aren't really enough, either; at least once a day, more if she's stressed, she just tells everyone to fuck off and goes back to her quarters. Maria wondered what the fuck for a long time, until she realized she and Natasha had somehow grown close enough that she could just follow her and figure out the secret.

In her room, Natasha has a full setup for tea, as close to the Russian way as is practical, none of this weak shit for her. Natasha's secret love of tea parties sounds sort of dainty and girly, inappropriately so; it's a little less so when you realize that the teapot is cast-iron and she could kill a man with it.

Maria actually did see her do that once. It was amazing.

It's just that Natasha gives not the slightest hint of a damn how things make her look, whether they draw attention to her femininity, because Natasha has no concept of her femininity as a weakness. It's a strength, a tool, something to be cultivated, just like everything else; sometimes Maria wishes she could be more like her.

Natasha pours enough of the concentrated tea into her cup that the hot water barely discolors it; she gives Maria less, but it's still strong enough that Maria had to learn how to drink it. She's gotten to where she likes it now, the flavor of the tea, the unexpected quiet that goes with it, the companionship.

They sip delicately from their teacups, not saying a word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with [podfic](http://chestnut-podfic.tumblr.com/post/42314289730/title-careful-what-you-wish-for-because-you) by [Chestnut_filly](http://chestnut-podfic.tumblr.com)!


	3. Dangerous Speeds - Pam/Cheryl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For an anon: _can you do an Archer femslash fic where Lana and Pam swap bodies?_
> 
> Warning here for the usual consent issues involved in bodyswapped sex, and also some body shaming and lesbian stereotyping. In other words, it is an Archer story.

"Have you seen Pam?" Lana asks.

Cyril looks at her, frowning. "Pam, if you keep huffing the toner cartridges, I'm going to have to start taking it out of your expense account. We already had this conversation once."

"Not-" Lana sighs angrily, annoyed at the sound of it, the familiar-unfamiliar way it sounds. "Pam is currently walking around in my body. If you don't help me find it, she's going to fill it full of Cheez Whiz and dicks."

Cyril just stares at her for a long, long time.

"Armory," he says finally.

"Thank you," she says, storming off. She figures she has about fifteen seconds before something goes horribly wrong; giving her body to Pam is like giving a Ferrari to someone with a learner's permit.

No, scratch that. She forgot that Pam street races.

The door of the armory isn't even shut, making it easy to see the tangle of weapons and bodies on the floor. Lana kind of wishes they'd just shot each other instead of- this.

"Hey," Lana snaps.

Cheryl startles. "Pam, for the last time, you can't join in-"

"Can it, Cheryl," Lana says sharply. 

Cheryl sighs in disgust. "Duh, hello, It's Charlie?"

Lana, as usual, ignores her. "Pam, if you don't come with me right now, I swear to god I will throw you out a window and see if you bounce."

"You're a hell of a lot bouncier than me right now," Pam says, taking a drag off her cigarette and blowing the smoke out.

Archer, of course, chooses this moment to walk by. "Pam, if you're in here fondling the-" He stops. "Oh my god."

"Archer," Lana says, taking him by the shoulders and steering him out of the room. "There was an accident. Pam is in there on the floor. I am Lana. You're going to ask me some stupid questions to make me prove myself, because you've forgotten what my agent identification code is."

"Lana, what the hell happened?" Archer says.

"Krieger happened," Lana says.

"Do you realize what this means?" Archer asks. "With her sex skills and your body-" Archer's eyes go wide. "Oh my god, Lana, if we don't stop her now she'll take over the world." He nods. "Leave it to me."

"Archer," Lana says tightly, grabbing him by his collar and pulling him back. "I don't have time for you to get your rocks off with my body."

"You're besmirching my good name," Archer says. "This is besmirchal."

"Shut up, Archer," she says, pushing in her code to seal the armory. "We're getting Krieger, and we're getting this fixed."

"I should stay here and supervise," he argues.

She grabs him by his arm, frogmarching him away. "Your dick has never solved my problems, and it is not about to start today."


	4. Fine and Mellow - Jane/Pepper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For [entangledwood](http://entangledwood.tumblr.com): _Jane Pepper - bonding over Tony and Thor (or should that be bondage? ;)_
> 
> Predictably, this chapter also includes discussion of Tony/Pepper and Jane/Thor, because everyone is poly because Avengers.

Jane did not think that there were actually women in the world, other than the ones on reality TV shows, who actually got drunk on caramel appletinis. Jane tried one at a party once and barely got two sips in before she felt like she was going to throw up from all the sugar. But no, Pepper has knocked back like six of them; the robot keeps shaking them up and she keeps putting them down. 

"He's going to kill me," Pepper says, tilting her head back and resting it on the back of the couch; she is, unsurprisingly, three sheets to the wind and quite talkative. "I'm going to die, because he's going to kill me. The stress is going to be enough that I am going to die. Every time he does something ridiculous I think it is the most ridiculous thing that he is ever going to do but then he goes off and pulls some kind of reverse- _Dr. Strangelove_ and I have no idea how someone could possibly be more ridiculous than that but all I know is that _Tony Stark will find a way_."

Jane looks pensively at her beer; she's got a hell of a lot of catching up to do if she wants to get ahead of Pepper, but right now she feels pretty fine, mellow despite the subject matter. "Dating the brother of a guy who tried to take over Earth is pretty ridiculous."

Pepper raises her head, looking at her. "Meeting the parents is going to be very awkward."

"Don't I know it," Jane sighs.

Pepper leans over, close enough to kiss, and Jane doesn't push her away; everyone in this tower is in everyone else's pants already, one big clump of superheroes and hangers-on, and no one seems to mind. "You know what?" she says softly, kissing her; her lips are sweet, slightly sticky. "I think we're gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be fine."

Jane sighs, kissing her back. "I think we will."

Pepper sits back, smiling warmly at her. "You, can I please have another drink?" she says, holding out her glass. The robot makes a chirping noise and seems to shake its head. "You are fucking kidding me," she says. "You can't cut me off. You're a robot. You're _Tony's_ robot. You should be offering me six more. Get out of my way, I'll make my own damn drink." Pepper starts to stand, but she doesn't get very far. "Okay, you may have a point, but this isn't over."

Jane laughs, pulling her into her lap. "You don't need another drink."

"I don't need another drink," Pepper sighs, laying down so that Jane can run her fingers through her hair, wind it gently around her fingers. "I need a nap. This is a good place for a nap."

"Nap all you want," Jane tells her, picking up her beer and taking another sip. "I'll be here."


	5. Doubletalk - Peggy/Natasha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For [bendingwind](http://ao3.org/users/bendingwind): _Peggy/Natasha. Peggy’s getting too old to chase after beautiful Russian spies. The rewards pretty fair, though. (serum!Natasha?)_

Peggy cards her fingers through Agent Romanov's hair; Romanov is Henrietta this week, short hair and blue star on her wrist. Peggy doesn't think that either of them really suit her, though she's doing as impeccable of a job as usual. It's just that Peggy's tastes run to the disguises with the long, flowing locks and the clingy red dresses, the ones that show what a sophisticated creature Romanov really is, her dangerous, shocking nature.

It is, admittedly, quite easy for Peggy to fit in with the rough-and-tumble crowd in the bars where Henrietta drinks, easier still for her to get Henrietta home and into Peggy's rented bed; the chances that Romanov is onto her are high, but she doesn't need to maintain the illusion to reach the objectives of this mission. All she needs is to get Romanov as defenseless as possible.

The fact that she gets to do it by undressing her and slowly kissing every inch of her body is really just one of those side benefits.

Henrietta does up her fly, bending down to kiss Peggy one more time. "I'll see you around," Peggy says, looking appealingly, strategically mussed, the thin sheets not quite covering her up.

Natasha smiles seductively, leaving her there, shutting the door behind her, and Carter makes no move to follow. Natasha makes her way up to the roof, and no one comes after her, not even a token attempt made to catch her, although she knows the jig must be up; Carter is severely going to regret having picked these particular soldiers for this particular mission.

Once she's outside in the chilly night, Natasha runs her fingers through her hair; she finds the tracer and delicately removes it, flicking it away, watching as it falls into the alleyway below.

Carter is a force to be reckoned with. It's just that good's idea of bad is so predictable.


	6. The Rotation - MJ/Ava

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because by god I was gonna write some Ultimate Spider-Man fic this month or die trying. Also contains brief Luke/Danny and Peter/Harry.

"If you need anything, if you encounter any problems at all, you come directly to me," Coulson said firmly. "Trust me, I know what you're going through."

"The path is difficult, and the way is winding," Danny said, looking at Luke. "We understand your feelings."

"I will put down anyone you need me to," Luke said, twining his fingers through Danny's. "Say the word."

"It's tough," Parker said, pretending he wasn't watching Osborn like a hawk. "Not that I know or anything. But I'd listen if you wanted."

"Thanks, but no thanks," she said, turning away, which was more or less what she'd been saying to everyone, with varying degrees of bluntness.

They were all nice about it, she supposed. It was just that they didn't understand; they _couldn't_. They couldn't understand because at the end of the day, no matter how enlightened they thought they were, no matter if they were gay or straight, they were still guys. They were loud and more than often smelly and they would always have things she didn't, no matter how powerful she became. She could live a thousand lifetimes and never be Nick Fury, never even be Agent Coulson. Someone would always see her differently, always think she was less of a person, and no training and no amulet would ever take that away.

And now she was pretty sure she was gay on top of it. Wasn't really her semester.

She snuck into the empty, rebuilt-for-the-fiftieth-time gym, sitting on the edge of the bleachers, feet hanging off the end. As long as she was out before the volleyball team came and as long as Fury didn't call her, she could have the place to herself for the next half-hour, some quiet time to think.

That was, of course, not what happened; barely five minutes passed before the door opened. Ava tensed, ready to make an excuse or just bail, but it wasn't what she expected, not the janitor or the gym coach to kick her out. It was the redhead, the pretty one that Parker hung out with, the one who was always bothering people for the school paper.

"Hi," she said, walking over and looking at Ava where she was perched. "I'm MJ. We haven't talked much."

"Ava," she replied, not offering anything else.

"I heard you might need some help," MJ said.

Ava pursed her lips, biting back an obscenity. "Parker's got a mouth on him."

"He worries," she said apologetically. "His heart is in the right place."

"If his heart is in the right place again, I'm going to feed it to him," Ava growled.

Uninvited, MJ climbed up and sat down next to her, her feet swinging slightly. "I know what you're going through."

Ava snorted. "You would not believe how many times I've been told that lately."

"Let me guess," MJ said. "Peter? Harry?"

Ava shook her head. "Harry doesn't know me well enough."

"Oh well," she said. "Harry also doesn't know he likes guys."

"He and Parker need make out and get it over with," Ava said, rolling her eyes.

"Tell me about it," MJ said. "But they wouldn't understand even if they did."

Ava sighed. " _Thank_ you."

"I really do know how it is," MJ said. "I've known I didn't like guys since I was twelve and Peter and I kissed."

"You kissed Parker?" she said, disgusted. "No wonder you're gay." MJ raised an eyebrow at her. "Sorry, that was mean."

"A little," MJ said dryly. 

Ava sighed. "I'm really tired of boys," she said. "I mean, I don't just mean I'm not attracted to them. I'm tired of dealing with them."

"Can't live with them," MJ said.

There was a pause. "Are you going to finish that thought?" Ava asked.

"It is finished," MJ said, and Ava laughed, surprised. "You don't have to be alone, okay?" she said, putting her hand on Ava's knee and squeezing it lightly. "I know what it's like when everybody wants to help and nobody really can."

"Can you help?" Ava asked.

"I can try," MJ said.

Ava looked away from her. "We should hang out sometime."

When Ava tentatively looked back, MJ's smile was warm, bright; Ava liked it. "Sure thing." She reached into her backpack and produced a pen, casually taking Ava's arm and writing a phone number down on it. Ava kicked herself for not reacting in time, not going on her guard immediately, but it wasn't exactly a situation she was prepared for. "Text me, okay?"

"Okay," Ava said, trying to sound cool and missing the mark by a solid mile. But MJ just jumped down off the bleachers, giving her another one of those smiles as she walked away.

Ava just sat there staring for a long, long time, long after MJ had gone.

Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad semester after all.


End file.
